Singing

I found out the best news yesterday. No, not a referral quite yet. But ---- our dossier is at the orphanage! Yes, we have made it to location where our son is at (or will be). This in itself is a victory folks! (Two years in the making). I have been in the clouds ever since I heard the word.

Just to think of the sweet nuns looking over our pictures and reading about our life and our family all the while holding our precious son and loving on him for us. I envision the Holy Spirit whispering into her soul that this is their child. Yes, he is the one. I feel this moment and it is sacred.

Thanks for praying. My bold prayer is that we will see his sweet little face before Christmas.

Blessings!

December 6th

Well, we are here. No referral. But we are still here. We have heard some good news lately....our agency is still working to confirm this information....but word on the streets is that they are NOT going to follow through with six month deadline thing. This is good news! I rejoice with the timeline going back to a "when" and not an "if" kind of scenario.

I've been keeping busy, which thankfully, keeps me from thinking about things too much. I worked part time at our church for the last month and half in community impact with seasonal ministry stuff. (i.e..... Thanksgiving baskets, food drive, etc..). I just finished that job last week.

And...we've been updating our home study, which expires at the end of this month. This is something that I dreaded doing. I mean pit in my stomach, update information not being touched for a couple of weeks, kind of dread. So hard to endure so much again not knowing if we are any closer to our boy. But I look at my girls and I think of my son and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for them. So, on with the home study update it is. A few more medical appts. this week and a meeting with our social worker and we are updated. Thank goodness.

I feel like we are close.

Blessings!

one month

I haven't posted any blogs in a while. It's hard to put into writing what I have been going through. Welcome to the battlefield of adoption. I haven't really had the energy or desire to blog. That being said, a few of you have checked in on me and are wondering what is going on. That means soooo much. It's like a warm fuzzy to the heart to experience the care and love come through the form of questions about our life and journey to our boy.

Yesterday was significant. One month from yesterday, December 6th, will mark our six-month deadline to be matched with our little one. Four more weeks! I am excited and confident that God will match us with our child. I am not worried. I am not anxious. I am not scared. I am not overwhelmed. (I have done enough of all of this in the past). I am EXCITED for God to make clear to us the outcome of this journey.

If I've learned one thing about myself and living this life is this: it is not about me. It is all about HIM! To live life and bring Him glory. It is not about me and my desires, and my heart, and my passion, and my heartache, and my comfort--- it is about serving Him and bringing Him glory and honor that He deserves. Through all the junk that we've been through I consider a privilege that God would call on me to step it up for Him.

I would just ask that you pray! Pray like never before. For my son and the other children in the world that are waiting to be held in their mother's arms. Pray that I would see his face soon. I am ready to hold my baby. Really ready. Beyond ready. :)

blessings!

Still here

Yep, still here. Still waiting.

I went to Bible study last week and had a few women, who I only know by their first names, tell me that they are checking in on our adoption story on this blog. I can not tell you how much that meant to me. I feel honored and grateful that people care. One sweet friend asked if I get tired of people asking me how things are going. Although I wish I had more to tell them, it is so nice to be thought of and have people sincerely interested and willing to ask a potentially water-works kinda question. :) The waiting has been pretty brutal since Melia started 1st grade. It is so quiet around our house. Too quiet. I feel like I have an open wound in my heart.

The good news is that people are indeed receiving their referrals!!!! Things are moving and we are really hopeful. What an exciting time. We have no idea where we are in the "line-up". We do have our approval letter and feel that we are close.

I am trying not to get my hopes up but that is soooo hard. Last month I had a really big peace about September. I just knew we wouldn't see his face in August. Hard to explain, but I just had a really strong peace about September. And now the last week of September is here and no Jojo. I am getting more and more teary with each day of September leaving and October 1st on the horizon. I am not trying to box God in or rush our story. I am thankful for the peace that I had in August. I pray that peace returns if this is not our time.

I know that one day we will see his face and it will be so worth the wait! Thanks for reading and caring.

Blessings!

the big 6

How can it be? My oldest is 6! Six years ago, I entered the crazy world of mommy hood. What a wonderful, hard, emotional, happy, tired, energetic, soul filling 6 years it has been. This year Melia declared she would like to have a friend party, in addition to a family party. No boys allowed! Just girls and sparkles and yummy cake to eat. How did my girl grow up to know that girl parties even existed? :) Her wish was granted with a Hello Kitty girl party at our house in the afternoon. Followed up by an evening family party at a nearby park. Melia felt sooooo loved and celebrated and I was pooped. (It was so worth it)!

The following pictures are a collection from the entire day.

The dessert table. Yummmm.

Girl power

Good buddies

Nana and farm Papa

Josh's sis and fam

Mormor and Papa

Good ole' Caleb

Opening presents

My older sis and her fam!

A couple of my sweet nieces who are the same age.

One of her biggest wishes for her birthday came true. No, not Jojo.... the new American Girl doll. She wouldn't take her dress off for three days.

Good - bye Kitty

Party was not complete until all nails were painted.

Sprinkler under the trampoline was a big hit.

My girl chose some great friends for her party with wonderful moms to hang out with!!!

Oh hurt my heart...where is the time machine to freeze time?

I love you Melia. You have my heart. I'm thankful everyday to be your mom.

blessings!

keeping a grip on hope

I haven't blogged in a couple of weeks and there is a lot to let you in on.

I did meet with Angie from ANLM and hand over a check to help feed the street kids of Kigali. So Awesome! Thank you again for your generosity. For $15.52 a month you can feed a child. Such a small amount that has life changing affects on young lives.

We did have a garage sale and raised almost $1,000 towards our travel costs. How cool is that! It was a one day blow out sale where we were wheeling and dealing. I was kinda of stressed out. It's little ways in life I can tell that I am stretched tight on the emotional spectrum. This was one of those moments. We got the whole sale ready and then the morning of, I was thinking I can't do this. I can't talk and bargain and deal with people today. I had a freak out moment. Thank you to my big sis for coming over and handling the sale (along with Josh) while I went inside and "hid" for a bit. Also, a big thanks to my pal Shauna for coming over and helping get things ready the night before. You have a gift girl with organization and garage sales! :) Thank you to my mom who took the girlies for most of the day so I could have complete focus on making money.

This last week has been really tough. I haven't blogged because I really don't have words at this point. We heard from Rwanda that we have six months to be placed with a child and if we aren't matched in those six months then our case will be "closed for good". I read recently scripture from The Message that sums up how I feel, if I had to try and articulate it.

"I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all - oh, how well I remember- the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God's loyal love couldn't have run out, his merciful love couldn't have dried up. They're created new every m

orning. How great is your faithfulness! I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over). He's all I got left. It's a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God".

Lamentations 3:19-24, 26 (The Message)

I would just ask that you keep praying. God is in control. We are confident of that!

blessings!

the numbers are in...

We made it to the bank last Friday. I had to wait until Josh could go with me because the weight of the coins was too much to carry by myself. :) Are you ready to read the results of our "Change 4 Rwanda" coin collection?

$1,388. 79

You read right. Wow. That's a lot of change! (some of you also collected some "paper" change) :) To your generosity and kindness for caring and taking the step to get involved - I say thank you! We are blessed beyond measure.

I am meeting with Angie from Africa New Life this afternoon to give her a check towards the feeding the street kids in Kigali. Angie also handles church partnerships with ANLM and I can't wait to hear all about that! I have a lot of questions.

We hit the one year mark yesterday of our dossier being in Rwanda. I am sooooo grateful that we received our non-objection letter prior to yesterday. My heart is hopeful.... I now find myself having a hard time falling asleep at night as I think about the day starting in Kigali. I think is this the day they will send my boy's picture to me? And of course this leads me to praying and thinking some more, etc..... And every morning I wake up and check my email first thing to see if today is the day our lives change forever?

Next up...our last fundraiser (hopefully). A garage sale this weekend! Good thing I have lots to do to keep me busy. :)

Blessings!